I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
