He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
