yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
