Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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