3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
