So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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