since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We are two peas in an std pod
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
