why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
