Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
