She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's blow job season.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
