3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
