Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
