so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
