What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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