i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
