my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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