i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
