Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He shit in the fireplace
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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