How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
