Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
