Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my shit smells like andre
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have tasted many bathrooms
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
