Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
