I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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