i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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