i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
