she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
