does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
