if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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