Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
