what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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