tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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