Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
