can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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