so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
