Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My cat gives me a boner
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
