There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
