So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
