; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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