Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
