That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
