Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
