Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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