I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
