Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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