well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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