the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
