What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pants are for mortals
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
