I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
being pregnant is like rehab
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
