I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
