i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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