If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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