We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We need to get me chipped asap
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
