I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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